As a culture we are inundated with articles, blogs, pictures, videos, etc.--the oversharing becomes what people seek and as a result they may be missing what is right in front of them. In a hypocritical sense, I am here to actually talk about one of those "articles"--but I suppose my excuse is that this article left a lasting imprint. Therefore, while many of the items we scroll through can be passed off as garbage or a waste of time, this specific "find" was something I got right.
Col. Mark Blum Commander, 212th Field Artillery Brigade, U.S. Army wrote an article entitled, "Important vs. Urgency." His article is a dedicated to not only his family, but having perspective on what he would have or should have done differently. He writes:
Col. Mark Blum Commander, 212th Field Artillery Brigade, U.S. Army wrote an article entitled, "Important vs. Urgency." His article is a dedicated to not only his family, but having perspective on what he would have or should have done differently. He writes:
1. I'd leave work every day by 1800 if at all possible and earlier if I could.
We work from before our children go to school until after they go to bed at night sometimes when they're small. How many hours might I have spent with them in the evening if I'd realized the chance doesn't come around again?
2. I'd save less money and have more fun. I think I'd take more long summer vacations to really memorable places with the kids instead of making the PCS move (wording for moving in the military) part of the vacation.
3. I'd make it a priority for them to see their grandparents more often, regardless of where we lived.
4. I'd be more selective about the social engagements I accepted, even if it was "expected" that I attend. My kids "expected" that I'd be with them too, and I don't recall any banquets where my presence determined the outcome of the evening. Sometimes I made the wrong choice.
5. I would pay more attention to which teachers my children had and less attention to the grades they made.
6. I'd be more help on school projects and less irritated when they brought one to me for help at the last minute. I get things every day at work at the last minute, for a lot of reasons. I would be more understanding that it happens to kids, too.
7. I'd go to all the PTA meetings, not just some, and every sports. Through the door at night I'd be more absorbed in their worlds. I could have thought about most of those problems after they went to bed. I'd throw a Frisbee more often with the kids and do less yard work. I can rake leaves anytime. We'd clean the house less and spend more time messing it up doing fun stuff.
8. I'd never again lose a day of annual leave. One year I lost 24 days - what a waste.
I literally sat in awe of what this man wrote, not because of the eloquence but because of his honesty. Clearly some subjects caught my attention more than others like: The PCS moves. I realize Jamie and I can have another shot at this and change what we have done in the past. Secondly, we are so grateful for the time, travel and effort of my parents. Soccer games. Baseball games. Taking the boys fishing. They have been present. They have provided support when support didn't exist (not for pity, it was just how it was). And lastly, that moment Jamie walks through the door. If I could bottle those moments and keep them forever, I would. Of course he first "tries" to cleanse himself of germs but then he immediately puts away his phone and engages with me and the boys. There isn't a moment that he turns on the television to check the score of a game or what the DOW ended at. There isn't a distraction that takes him away from asking, asking and asking about the boys' day. And to me, that is such an immeasurable gift.
The rest of the article goes on to talk about what is important and what is urgent. He provides three ways to determine if something is important:
1. It is important to someone who's important to you; 2. Your personal presence makes a difference; and 3. The opportunity is NOT GOING TO COME AROUND AGAIN.
There is so much I can work on--as a mom, wife, friend, volunteer, etc. There is so much more we can do as parents. There always will be. But I think with the mindset of choosing wisely, knowing what is important and being present for those we love is the greatest gift we can give.