Visual: James and I are currently sitting on our old, red, permanately coffee stained blanket (but clean) in the front yard. We just finished our morning walk which has become a staple in our routine. For the past four weeks, I have made it a priority to get him out into the fresh air for a walk and for me to feel like there is a world that exists outside the walls of our townhome. And for the most part, I think I have done a good job of getting out---whether it be to visit our favorite place, Hy-Vee or to meet friends for lunch. This has helped me tremendously---so thank you to all of you who have met up with me and to meet our little man!
It has been awile since I blogged and quite honestly---it has been because I have been feeling overwhelmed, disappointed and of course---busy. I think from the get-go I have been disappointed with myself when it came to the breastfeeding thing and now the pumping has literally taken over my life. Hence--feeling overwhelmed. It is alot. It takes alot. If I am not feeding the little guy, than my body is hooked up to a machine to get relief and trust me----engorged boobies are one of the most painful things to deal with---I don't wish it upon anyone! My days are filled with this process...... therefore, I only get a short window as it will repeat itself.
I am a "go-go-go" type of person so when a machine is running your life---it is hard to feel that sense of freedom. Which has lead me to my next decision---I am going to start weaning off from the machine. Right now, James has received a full month worth of breast milk and I have about another month stored up in the freezer. And now I will continue to slowly wean off and still get that milk.
So much has gone through my head:
Am I a bad mother?
Is Jamie mad at me? Disappointed in me?
Will James be okay?
But I realized after talking to my sister in law that this whole "stress" and massive meltdowns I have been having aren't worth it. It isn't healthy for me, for my marriage or for my son.
I want to feel like I can enjoy my time with my son, rather than breaking down and being connected to a machine all the time. I want to play with him and go places. So with this all being said, I made that tough decision. And trust me, it has been tough.
End of that discussion.
New subject:
James.
Wow. What can I say? He amazes us every single day. Whether it be the way he can almost hold his head up all by himself. Or the way he farts when he sleeps. Or the way he cries and screams every single time after giving him his bottle because he doesn't want to burp--it is a joy!
His favorite thing to do: Bath time!
Me and Jamie's favorite thing to do: Bath time!
Trust me---he gets a killer spa treatment!
We are so extremely blessed and grateful for him. He challenges us. He teaches us. He creates a stronger bond in all of us. He has strengthened and tested Jamie and I as a couple.
I just can't believe it has already been a month! Time flies!!!
Love to all!
The Seidl Sprouts
It has been awile since I blogged and quite honestly---it has been because I have been feeling overwhelmed, disappointed and of course---busy. I think from the get-go I have been disappointed with myself when it came to the breastfeeding thing and now the pumping has literally taken over my life. Hence--feeling overwhelmed. It is alot. It takes alot. If I am not feeding the little guy, than my body is hooked up to a machine to get relief and trust me----engorged boobies are one of the most painful things to deal with---I don't wish it upon anyone! My days are filled with this process...... therefore, I only get a short window as it will repeat itself.
I am a "go-go-go" type of person so when a machine is running your life---it is hard to feel that sense of freedom. Which has lead me to my next decision---I am going to start weaning off from the machine. Right now, James has received a full month worth of breast milk and I have about another month stored up in the freezer. And now I will continue to slowly wean off and still get that milk.
So much has gone through my head:
Am I a bad mother?
Is Jamie mad at me? Disappointed in me?
Will James be okay?
But I realized after talking to my sister in law that this whole "stress" and massive meltdowns I have been having aren't worth it. It isn't healthy for me, for my marriage or for my son.
I want to feel like I can enjoy my time with my son, rather than breaking down and being connected to a machine all the time. I want to play with him and go places. So with this all being said, I made that tough decision. And trust me, it has been tough.
End of that discussion.
New subject:
James.
Wow. What can I say? He amazes us every single day. Whether it be the way he can almost hold his head up all by himself. Or the way he farts when he sleeps. Or the way he cries and screams every single time after giving him his bottle because he doesn't want to burp--it is a joy!
His favorite thing to do: Bath time!
Me and Jamie's favorite thing to do: Bath time!
Trust me---he gets a killer spa treatment!
We are so extremely blessed and grateful for him. He challenges us. He teaches us. He creates a stronger bond in all of us. He has strengthened and tested Jamie and I as a couple.
I just can't believe it has already been a month! Time flies!!!
Love to all!
The Seidl Sprouts