Thirty-four weeks is a tease.
It provides you a sense of relief that you and the precious child you have been carrying for eight months has stuck it out and are in the homestretch. However, it is also a bit of a tease because you are anxiously awaiting the moment when you feel like you peed your pants (times 10000) or when you get that lovely BLOOOOODY SHOW! (laughing)
For me, I am feeling a bit of both---relief and anxiety. Go figure.
This time around, however, isn't centered around being a first time mom and not knowing what the heck I am getting myself into. Instead, I have felt overwhelmingly anxious about how James will handle the new baby, how I will handle two little ones, how I will---yes, do it alone (no pity or sympathy). I fear my same mistakes as a first time mom will creep up on me like some cockroach encroaching (get it) its way into my house. Being honest---I am scared. I want to continue giving James the love and attention he deserves, but I also want to provide for the new baby in every way possible. This time around already is different, as Jamie and I have discussed----he can barely stay standing the moment he walks in the door let alone get through the week with the amount of stress and hours weighing heavily on his shoulders. And I, in no means, want to be another burden. I want to provide for him--the support he needs and deserves as he is going through this time. I don't expect anyone to understand it by any means---but residency......residency is a whole other beast....a big beast.
Which leads me to the most important point----while I am stressing and not sleeping (due to my enormous pouch, soccer player and anxiety)---my greatest concern is HEALTH.
The past two weeks have been difficult ones for Jamie. He witnessed three traumatic births----one resulting in a death of a baby. No one can prepare you for that moment. No one can tell you how to react. No one can tell you exactly why. You have to rely on faith and faith alone. Yes, pending autopsy----there is a medical reason---but sometimes that isn't enough to provide the closure we need/want/deserve.
Therefore, while I sit and stew----I have realized in these past weeks---listening to Jamie----that all that matters is a healthy baby, healthy delivery and healthy homecoming. At the end of the day, the baby showers, the baby clothes, the nursery and even the sex of the child doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. What matters is that the child comes into this world healthy. Instead of asking----what did she have? What stroller are you pushing him/her in? Is that outfit from Von Maur? The first thing that should be asked---is baby and mom okay and healthy?
I pray for any parent who has lost a child or who has had any complications. Therefore, as much as I may fret about things that are out of my control---I need to be more aware of the blessings that I have right in front of me and hopefully what is to come in the next month. The power of prayer and faith is all we can rely on----it's a solid foundation we should all seek.
Love,
The Seidl Sprouts
It provides you a sense of relief that you and the precious child you have been carrying for eight months has stuck it out and are in the homestretch. However, it is also a bit of a tease because you are anxiously awaiting the moment when you feel like you peed your pants (times 10000) or when you get that lovely BLOOOOODY SHOW! (laughing)
For me, I am feeling a bit of both---relief and anxiety. Go figure.
This time around, however, isn't centered around being a first time mom and not knowing what the heck I am getting myself into. Instead, I have felt overwhelmingly anxious about how James will handle the new baby, how I will handle two little ones, how I will---yes, do it alone (no pity or sympathy). I fear my same mistakes as a first time mom will creep up on me like some cockroach encroaching (get it) its way into my house. Being honest---I am scared. I want to continue giving James the love and attention he deserves, but I also want to provide for the new baby in every way possible. This time around already is different, as Jamie and I have discussed----he can barely stay standing the moment he walks in the door let alone get through the week with the amount of stress and hours weighing heavily on his shoulders. And I, in no means, want to be another burden. I want to provide for him--the support he needs and deserves as he is going through this time. I don't expect anyone to understand it by any means---but residency......residency is a whole other beast....a big beast.
Which leads me to the most important point----while I am stressing and not sleeping (due to my enormous pouch, soccer player and anxiety)---my greatest concern is HEALTH.
The past two weeks have been difficult ones for Jamie. He witnessed three traumatic births----one resulting in a death of a baby. No one can prepare you for that moment. No one can tell you how to react. No one can tell you exactly why. You have to rely on faith and faith alone. Yes, pending autopsy----there is a medical reason---but sometimes that isn't enough to provide the closure we need/want/deserve.
Therefore, while I sit and stew----I have realized in these past weeks---listening to Jamie----that all that matters is a healthy baby, healthy delivery and healthy homecoming. At the end of the day, the baby showers, the baby clothes, the nursery and even the sex of the child doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. What matters is that the child comes into this world healthy. Instead of asking----what did she have? What stroller are you pushing him/her in? Is that outfit from Von Maur? The first thing that should be asked---is baby and mom okay and healthy?
I pray for any parent who has lost a child or who has had any complications. Therefore, as much as I may fret about things that are out of my control---I need to be more aware of the blessings that I have right in front of me and hopefully what is to come in the next month. The power of prayer and faith is all we can rely on----it's a solid foundation we should all seek.
Love,
The Seidl Sprouts